Great question. In short, I don't know and have assumed most of my life that universal unconditional love was the goal and have struggled with the push from many who have come before us on this. Take, for example, this description of the celebrated psychologist and writer Eric Fromm in his book the Art of Loving (from Richard Rohr's Falling Upward):
"The healthiest people he has known, and those who very often grow up in the most natural way, are those who, between their two parents and early authority figures, experienced a combination of unconditional love along with very conditional and demanding love."
Interesting! I have assumed the same thing. I wonder if there is a way to give our kids and selves and others a deep foundation of unconditional love, but on top of that, layer demands, challenges, provocations, boundaries. Truly conditional love - i.e., you will lose my love if you do X - still doesn't sit quite right with me?
Great question. In short, I don't know and have assumed most of my life that universal unconditional love was the goal and have struggled with the push from many who have come before us on this. Take, for example, this description of the celebrated psychologist and writer Eric Fromm in his book the Art of Loving (from Richard Rohr's Falling Upward):
"The healthiest people he has known, and those who very often grow up in the most natural way, are those who, between their two parents and early authority figures, experienced a combination of unconditional love along with very conditional and demanding love."
Interesting! I have assumed the same thing. I wonder if there is a way to give our kids and selves and others a deep foundation of unconditional love, but on top of that, layer demands, challenges, provocations, boundaries. Truly conditional love - i.e., you will lose my love if you do X - still doesn't sit quite right with me?
“Alone, unconditional love leaves us spoiled and listless.” Is this true? How do you know?